Video poker

Well, Jack and me are still working our way through these bottles. Not so many of them left now, but we’re not worried — the wannabe supplier got the nod so we’ll get more of his good stuff. As you’ll realize, I’m not an outdoor kinda guy ’cept when I tear myself away from the […]

Well, I got the whites of your eyes in my sights again, so I guess it must be time to give ya another blast. I’m still fixed on this question of how big a bankroll ya need to turn video poker pro. This time, I tell ya ’bout another factor in the equation ya gotta work out for yourself.

For the dreamers among ya, I’m gonna tell ya how big a bankroll ya should put together before turning pro at video poker. Ain’t no half measures here. You need stake money and ya hafta be prepared to lose every last cent of it. Video poker’s not a forgiving game. Like any lady, she’ll take all your money and walk away leaving you cold.

Well, we’re finally gonna get the show on the road. I’m taking pity on ya all and anteing up a video poker strategy for Jacks or Better. It’s a cut-down version because, truth be told, the better odds come on the progressive machines which I’ll get to another time. Can’t have too much of a good thing, now can we?

Well, now’s the time to make a start on that proper video poker strategy I been promissing ya. But the theme of today’s little sermon is, “To them that hath, it shall be given”. You gotta have the bankroll to start off with. If you can’t stand the losses those slot machines dole out, don’t start to play more professional. Just play for fun.

Sometimes when you get bit by bad luck, it’s easy to think someone’s just cheated you. There was no way you coulda lost on the slot machines if the game had been straight. Most of us come back to Earth ten seconds later with the sad fact that probabilities always allow for anomalies. The rest of you walking round in a fog seem to think the casino musta cheated you. Get evidence or get a life!

Get rich by playing the slot machines? They’re all good value for them as has the money and no sense. Let’s lay it on the line for ya. The only way these system guys get rich is by selling you their systems. Math is math. If the game is less than fair, there ain’t no system in the world can make it fair.

But not as many as some of you wannabe gamblers who’ve never heard of the principle of statistical independence when it comes to paying the slot machines. So here’s a perfect of example of it in action. The first one in the series “Video Poker Guru” was either a winner or a loser. The question you’ve got to ask yourself if you read this one is, “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya?

My father had a word for this – cockamamie. More damn foolishness. As if you folks couldn’t open this webpage on slot machines and read without someone having to tell you to. Just get on with it, for God’s sake. I’m one of the world’s greatest experts on video poker prepared to tell it like it is. What’re you waiting for?